Omg I am going to soil this recliner

In the in-laws' bonus room. new baby sleeping in one arm. 2year old napping next to me. The wimmens went to get their toes did for the wedding on Wednesday. 3 days worth of spicy food just decided it wants out. Cold sweat. Getting desperate. Writing to take my mind off it. It's not working.

Gurgles and Gloops from my gut.

Can't put Isaac down, he will wake hungry and I don't have a bottle.

Aren't second weddings supposed to be in courthouses? Take your fiancée to the judge, no pedicures needed.and my bowels could be unleashed.

I have only #2'd twice at the in-law's
The whole time I've known them, out of respect. And fear.

Today will be #3. I'll need a mop and a priest.

Holy shit they are here!

Enjoy this self portrait, entitled: "cold seat, blazing sphincter".